11 Things We Hate About Hotels

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As the Hotel-Tell All, Oyster is very well traveled when it comes to hotels. We’ve seen it all — whether good or bad. Let it be known: after visiting thousands of hotels, the tiny fees, poor service, and mediocre food starts to get irritating.

Oyster Blog11. Valet Charges

No parking? Don’t charge through the roof for valet parking. You know it’s our only choice and makes us bitter.

We appreciate you showing us how to flush the toilet upon the room check-in tour, but come on! We’ve been able to do that by ourselves for a long time now.

Please don’t provide a “complimentary basket” filled with treats upon room check-in, and then secretly charge $3 for the biscuits lying right next to the basket.

We’d love to be provided with an actual definition, explanation and breakdown of what exactly “The Resort Fee” is. We understand all hotels do it these days, but if all your friends were jumping off of a bridge, would you?

When hotels allow guests to save lounge chairs by the pool by putting down a towel at 6 a.m., it makes other guests feel unworthy.

We were under the impression that vacation was a time to relax — just because we’re not in mood for an early-morning-lounge-chair-brawl doesn’t mean we don’t deserve a chair of our own. If you’re not there, you’re not lounging.

Speaking of lounge chairs, charging for them and umbrellas is just stingy. We’ll be more likely to give a bigger tip if we’re not forced to pay for an amenity that should come with the hotel.

We know that same bottle costs $1.59 at 7-Eleven. You’re not fooling anybody.

We know the real reviews from the fake ones. And with this recent

, you better be careful.

We’ve mastered the art of investigating

— Oyster’s most popular feature that exposes hotels’ deceiving marketing photos.

Listen, if your main pool is the size of a kiddie pool, no need to angle the camera so the viewers think it’s an Olympic-sized lap pool. We’ll likely call you out on it.

Where to begin…

Get with the times. It’s like toilet paper and oxygen. Also, if the hotel does provide WiFi free of charge, give us a good signal. There is nothing more frustrating than slow or unusable Internet.

10. The Toilet Flush Demo9. The “Complimentary” In-Room Treat8. The Resort Fee7. The Lounge Chair Reserve6. Lounge Chair Charges5. The $10 Bottle of Water4. Self-Written ReviewsNew York Times article3. The Photo FakeoutPhoto Fakeouts2. Mini Bars1. Wi-Fi Charges