Did Ya Ever Wonder...? Random Ramblings, Ideas, and Questions

August 30, 2010
David Lubin, MD

What goes on in the mind of a physician when he's not in the office seeing patients? Welcome to the weekend world of David Lubin, MD.

The news amazes me. Some things happen that you just can’t believe, even when you hear about them on Dave Letterman’s show; for instance, the enormous traffic jam in China that backed up traffic for 60 miles.

Now, I consider myself a fairly well-rounded guy, let alone a well-respected physician. When VHS recorders were in vogue, mine always had the right time and didn’t flash 12:00. I’m up on what’s going on in the world; am an accomplished photographer, producing a local calendar for now my 20th year; and am an avid Tampa Bay Rays and Lightning fan. I was even the Lightning’s Fan of the Year during the Stanley Cup year in 2004.

But sometimes I come up with ideas that I’m not even sure originate in normal brain cells. For instance, when I walk into exam rooms, patients are often talking on cell phones, and their kids are playing games on hand-held devices. At least it keeps them quiet… the kids, that is. And maybe the phone usage acts as a buffer to allay any complaints if I’m running late. But I had the thought the other day—what if, in 1000 years, children are born with tiny fingers to enable them to better punch out text messages, or play video games, or whatever it is they will do with those things in 1000 years. They may have to have built-in radar to avoid bumping into others since their heads will all point downward to the ground. Babies will be born without tongues, as their use is actually decreasing; brain size will be considerably smaller since you don’t have to remember anything, because, you know, YOU CAN GOOGLE ANYTHING!

Then there’s the “Why doesn’t anything like that ever happen to me?” department. Greg Estes recently paid $5 for a bike at a garage sale. Turns out it belonged to bicyclist Floyd Landis and is worth $8000. Or even better is the family who uncovered the first issue of the Superman comic book from 1938 in their attic, just when their house was being foreclosed.

And the last of my ramblings come from the “How can athletes and celebrities be so stupid?” department. Paris Hilton spent 45 days in jail in 2007 on an alcohol-related reckless driving charge. Then she was arrested at the World Cup this summer for possession of marijuana, but charges were dropped. Now she’s been arrested again, but released without bail when police, having smelled pot wafting from her car, pulled her over. As she got out of the car, she pulled out a tube of lip balm and oops, a bit of cocaine in a plastic bag fell out of her purse. TSK! TSK! But you have to admit, Paris Hilton does take a nice mug shot...