Physician's Money Digest
Is it nature or is it nurture? Is our behavior determinedby our genes or by our environment? Withthe Human Genome Project and new gene discoveriescoming every day, the nature side of the argumentis currently winning. Always interested in newinformation that will help our physician-readers, thestaff of has been keenly interestedin the discovery of some new genes of vital importanceto you.
SPND (Spend) and SVE (Save) Genes
These genes, on the long arm of the 18th chromosome,affect what we do when we are presented withcash. In studies of children, when suddenly given $5bills, those with the SPND gene almost instantly convertedthe money into candy. In those with the SVE gene,the bills disappeared and later were found hidden undertheir mattresses.
In physicians, SPND positives:
Physicians with the SVE gene:
CAUT (Cautious) and RSK (Risk Taker) Genes
In further studies, CAUT-positive physicians:
On the other hand, RSK-positive physicians:
GULL (Gullibility) and SKP (Skepticism) Genes
SKP-positive physicians, on the other hand:
PHIL (Philanthropy) and SCRG (Scrooge) Genes
PHIL positives tend to:
SCRG positives often:
CLU (Clueless) and QCKN (Quicken Lover) Genes
Physicians who tested CLU positive:
Those who are QCKN positive:
OPT (Optimism) and PSM (Pessimism) Genes
OPT positives habitually:
Time and again, PSM positives:
After reading this, if you want to have yourself testedfor these new genes, I can predict that you are mostcertainly OPT positive. But go ahead and fill out theapplication anyway. If you're dead set against havingyourself tested, you're probably SKP positive. But justthink how much money you can save by cutting outthose pesky financial advisors and developing your ownfinancial plan based on hard data integral to your owngenetic makeup. Just send us a vial of your blood in a redtop tube, along with a signed blank check, and we'll sendyou the results in 6 weeks.
From the Editor: Please note that this article is not based on scientificfact and is only intended to financially educate and entertain our readers.
a family practice physician in
Saginaw, Mich, is the editor of the Saginaw County
Medical Society Bulletin and Michigan Family
Practice. He welcomes questions or comments at
3350 Shattuck Road, Saginaw, MI 48603; 989-792-1899; or firstname.lastname@example.org.
Louis L. Constan,