Shannon C. Trotter, DO, and Mona Shahriari, MD, discuss burnout, people-pleasing, public speaking, and the real life behind physicians’ polished personas.
In the October episode of The Medical Sisterhood, host Mona Shahriari, MD, associate clinical professor of
This podcast episode is a sequel to Shahriari’s appearance on Trotter’s own show. It explores the gap between the polished podium version of physicians and the real-life version that emerges over coffee, in hotel lobbies, and in group chats with trusted colleagues.
Shahriari opens with a series of candid statements for Trotter to react to. The first is that expertise alone does not earn someone a microphone. Trotter agrees that research or clinical expertise and the ability to communicate it are separate skill sets, and that only some clinicians have both. The two discuss the challenge of co-presenting with colleagues whose energy and style differ from their own. Trotter describes how a spontaneous live demonstration with a more reserved co-presenter became one of the session’s strongest moments.
Trotter suggests physicians find clinical failures easier to discuss because they can be explained by outside factors, such as incomplete patient histories, adherence issues, or a trial that missed its end point. Personal exhaustion, by contrast, tends to be seen as a flaw in oneself. Both clinicians note that women in medicine often hold themselves to especially high standards, a pattern reinforced by curated social media feeds.
Shahriari describes canceling a lunch meeting after a cross-country lecture schedule left her running on minimal sleep, and notes how long she hesitated before admitting she was tired. Trotter links this hesitation to people-pleasing and to fear that declining a commitment could cost future opportunities. That cycle, she says, can push clinicians toward burnout. Survey data continue to show higher rates of burnout among women physicians than among men.1,2
Trotter emphasizes the power of pausing before speaking and asking whether a comment adds value. Criticism of a colleague’s presentation, she notes, belongs in a private conversation rather than a public chat. She acknowledges that jokes sometimes fall flat on stage and that constant recording makes such moments feel more permanent, but encourages speakers to keep going and accept imperfection. Both agree that speakers are usually their own harshest critics, and Shahriari has stopped listening to recordings of herself for that reason. Trotter adds that learning not to take rejection personally is especially hard for younger clinicians.
Trotter describes herself as a serious physician who is not always a serious person. She uses humor to build rapport with patients while reading each room to decide how far to take it. The two share lighthearted confessions about conference life, including pretending to recognize colleagues, slipping out of events unnoticed, and the effort behind polished social media photos. Trotter also recounts responding to emergencies outside the clinic, including a stroke on an airplane, as an example of physicians’ innate drive to help others. She closes by urging women physicians to acknowledge that they can be excellent clinicians while still feeling exhausted or disorganized. She also encourages them to promote themselves without making themselves smaller for others’ comfort.
Editor’s note: This summary was edited for the purposes of grammar and clarity using AI tools. Shahriari and Trotter highlighted no relevant financial disclosures of note.
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